September 24th, 2017
Today a sweet great granddaughter celebrates her second birthday, but I am home nursing an arthritic knee which was not in a party mode and got that way after a water skiing injury, some forty years ago. Nevertheless, it causes raised eyebrows when I answer inquiries about the source of lameness in my knee with a casual "a water skiing accident". At 92......seriously!!!!!
Nevertheless I am sorry to miss sweet Olivia's birthday party..... I know it will be a fun affair
with all sorts of little ones, their Moms and Dads and probablygrandparents. balloons, party snacks and birthday cake. Ah well...
It behooves me to think that little ones birthdays parties are made
for great grandparents to just pop in with hugs and kisses and presents,
and then to quietly disappear!!!
I was up early this morning (as I am most mornings so Bruce can run out to the garden for his usual morning visit). It gives me time for a leisurely breakfast, and while I enjoyed my second cup of coffee I took down from the bookshelf one of the volumes of my Blog, circa 2008.
Shortly after I began to write I realized this blog was really a journal, and considering future years when memories would likely be important, and at family urging, I started to have it published by Blog2U,
Well, leafing through this particular book, recording this particular year, I realized that life, and my writings about it, have become sparse and scanty in comparison to the rich happiness within the pages written while my dearest one was still alive and sharing...
Sometimes I am so desperately lonely for him, despite all the kindnesses of children and family.
I am so desperately lonely for him, and yet at the same time, as I read about the days we lived together, I am so very grateful for those times, and the opportunity to remember them, smiling and full of gratitude. They become alive again, - our conversations, our photo drives in the country side, someone dear to have breakfast with, and I think how lucky we were!!
To add to the poignancy, while arranging my hair as I prepared for church, I caught the faintest glimpse of my mother in the mirror........it is one of those days when the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer, that veil between the present and the past. A day to be treasured....
7 comments:
I do love reading your blog posts Hildred, getting old has its sadness and limitations but you manage to keep your life in perspective.
Having finished your 2007 journal posts, I am now looking forward to beginning the next year. Without a doubt, I have a growing admiration for you and your writing, much of which is worthy of publication. I love the photo of you and your husband, along with another couple, that was taken shortly after your marriage. You were such a lovely couple, you so beautiful and your husband so handsome. Your family was wise to encourage you to publish this wonderful journal, for this is a real treasure. Thank you for sharing it!
At times when I have turned to my old hand-written journals or copies of letters I'm amazed that a whole train of events is brought to mind by a few sentences.
Increasingly as we age, with over 50 years of marriage behind us, I do wonder which of us will be left to continue the story alone.
[On a different note, I see that you are also being 'spammed' by piseth san--the format seems to be extracting a phrase from our blog or a follower's comment and publishing as though it were a newcomment.]
Thank you for confirming the spam I suspected....and sometimes I am glad to be the one who was left to continue the story alone, as I think perhaps wives are more equipped to carry on and cope with the loneliness....???
I always know I'll come away from a visit here having learned something new or been reminded of something important. Today it is a reminder to appreciate the daily joy, knowing as we do .... (I always come away wishing I were as articulate as you as well... if I were I would not use so many ellipses.)
Blogging serves as a memory journal for me as well. I do even now use it as a reminder of how fortunate we've been.
Your writing is so immediate, Hildred, even when you reflect on the past. I'm glad you're continuing with your writing and photography. I can't imagine the loneliness of living alone after such a long marriage. Bob and I are writing some end of life wishes so our children will know how to proceed. Thinking of one of us without the other after 51 years is very hard. That curly-headed Great Granddaughter is so cute!
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