Almost to the middle of January, and I have been quite dissatisfied with myself and my lack of enthusiasm for this wonderful New Year.
Could it be the weather, - all grey and damp and dismal and foggy? The sun has shone just occasionally, for a minute or two - just long enough to assure us that it is still there, above that grey dome that sometimes sends mist cascading down the hills to tickle their toes....
Or is it because My List has not one check mark on it!!! I have not tied the first of many (400) knots that must secure my dummy warp on the loom.
I have bent over the Ukulele and The Reader's Digest easy home melodies, and found some consolation there, but no improvement in my strumming!!!!!
I started to do housecleaning on the computer files, but was soon discouraged and easily convinced I could put it off for another day.....
There is a photography course online that I had vowed to tackle in the new year, but somehow I could not bring myself to the first lesson, even....
I was inclined to start knitting again, and I even imagined socks and scarfs all ready for next year's Christmas presents. But the sock that I picked up to finish while listening to a concert now sits in the the basket with great balls of wool that look at me with accusing eyes whilst I loll around reading.
Well, yes, I have been reading, and I know that counts for something. Maybe more than I am prepared to admit.
While musing about 'things-to-do-tomorrow' my mind wandered to this great lack of productivity, and what in heaven's name was I going to do about it! What HAD I been doing for the last two weeks.
Reading, - yes. Trying diligently to absorb the words and beliefs of Dr. Kenneth R. Miller and Dr. Francis Collins - both scientists who have been able to find compatibility between Science and Religion, particularly in the field of bio-genetics where those in this particular meadow find themselves thrown into the arena 'to grapple with the Almighty".
And I had had a more than slight confrontation with the Dentist!!!! I count my determination in going to see him and 'taking care of those things that required it' a bit of a moral victory over procrastination and apprehension. All went well, but as a consequence I have been confined to soups and soft foods, - discouraged from baking (which I love) and even from eating the left over goodies from Christmas.
All of this musing gradually changed my perspective and I decided that perhaps I had not been in the doldrums these last few weeks, but rather that life had taken on a different flavour, and I was back to reading and thinking, rather than up and doing. Unfortunately the lack of busy-ness is inclined to make me lonely for the company of my dearest, and so I have to find the happy medium....
Perspective is great for the morale!!! Suddenly I feel that yes, this is just what I needed - a time of solitude and stillness after all the great todo at Christmas, and I have stopped berating myself for being lethargic.
Perhaps a garden catalogue is the answer, and I can mix a little anticipation into my days......