Friday, September 01, 2006

September - most glorious of months

Across acres of old pastures, where the goldenrod are taking over, late August and early September turn the land into a tumbling sea of the richest yellow. The fields are awash with waves of goldenrod that flow across the slopes and break against the stone walls and the woods.
Edwin, Way Teale

In the days when we rai
sed sheep and I was enthused about spinning and dyeing wool the goldenrod and rabbit brush drew me into the hills and along the roadsides to gather
great baskets of yellow gold that with the proper mordants gave me the soft and subtle greens and tans and buttery colours to weave blankets that still keep us warm at night and lay over cha
irs for afternoon naps.

The first day of September, and we enter my most favourite month of all. September is like New Year's Eve to me, - it holds all the excitement of new beginnings. We come from a languid summer, full of zip and great expectations. It has been this way for me always, but more so when I was sending children back to school. I wasn't breathing a sigh of relief, - I just wanted in the worst way to go with them!!

When it finally came my turn to go back to school it was one of the most exciting times of my life, and I loved every minute of it.

Today has been glorious. Cool breezes, warm sun and blue skies. The intense heat of summer has retreated. The hills are still smokey, and the sun set tonight - a spectacular red ball against a smokey sky.

I spoke in a previous post about the curious anomoly that we depression children harbour and the guilt we feel when we indulge in the things we love to do. There is a need to find a practical reason for everything we do. It plagues me when I pass my weaving room, and much as the loom beckons and the unfinished warp scolds, there always seems to be something else that should be done. If I can fool my mind into thinking that I am weaving to make presents and save money at Christmas and Birthdays, then all is well and I can weave guilt free.

I had no hope of ever conquering this feeling until today I read of a wise woman's effort to change "should" to "could".

I said it over to myself, silently. It opened up possibilities, and so I said it out loud.

Try it, - what a wonderful release, - changing a negative to a positive. I COULD go and weave this morning. Or I COULD clean out the fridge. A great decision making opportunity, and permission to choose what appeals most (always keeping in mind that the fridge is going to continue to need to be scrubbed and polished and re-arranged) Perhaps a morning will come when that is the activity which really turns me on!!!!! Clean fridges do have a certain appeal!

Well, this way of looking at things opens up possibilities, and what better month to try it. Imagine, waking up to a morning of choices! I will feel like a butterfly, - a grasshopper. Certainly not a trudging ant. I will banish "SHOULD" from my vocabulary.

Of course there is still "MUST", but MUST places no burden of decision upon us, - it doesn't encourage us to procrastinate. It is purely and simply a fulfilment of an obligation, a commitment

I go into September with lots of enthusiasm and a light heart!!!

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