Shedding the illusion of central position
God help us, there is very little of that particular illusion left at this stage of the game. Which, I think, is as it should be.
A measured sense of self is most important in achieving maturity, and when we become parents the responsibilities we feel for our children are inclined to give us the illusion of control. This continues at least until the last child leaves the nest, and in some parents there is great difficulty in granting children true freedom to be adults and in charge of their own lives. A mother's constant worry about adult children is really a failure in faith, and a clinging to a feeling of responsibility and control
I speak from experience, and I have been a long time reaching the point in my life where I can shed the worry and the feeling of being responsible for everyone's happiness, everyone's safety.
I think this lack is an indication of what is currently known as a "control freak", and control freak's have a really hard time acknowledging that probably everyone can do just as good a job as they can in making decisions and living the good life. And some can do it a whole lot better!!!
I strive to age graciously, and have found that "the old folks" inspire love and respect, but woe betide them if they think they have any control over the events that happen in their children's lives, - or their children's response to these events.
What a happy freedom acceptance of this concept brings!!! It's like being newly weds again, - just to have each other to care for and to consider, and the familiarity of years of marriage to smooth the path. And besides, there is that constant movie of family life that we can sit and watch (and mostly enjoy) without any sense of responsibility. Furthermore, most of the things you get to watch are the pleasant events, - nobody tells you about the things they think might upset you, or on the other hand, might upset them!!!
WOW - so much for the illusion of central position, - hurrah for the seats on the sidelines!!! Let the parade continue!