Sunday, September 27, 2009

A Note to Myself on Keeping Centered

I have a passion for notebooks, and while browsing through some of last year's pages I came across this note to myself..... (I do that often too, - another quirk)

Nov. 7, 2008

"Alas, the passage of the years eventually diminishes our powers in so many way;

Physically, we are dismayed by the things we can't do easily anymore. Squeeze the toothpaste, open jars, skip down steps - the list is never ending and worse, far worse, for those who have lost their mobility.

Mentally, how frustrating that we have forgotten things that once were filed away so neatly. What is it that makes the file drawer stick??? How sad that some memories are lost to us, - even those of us who are fortunate enough to retain pretty well all our faculties -

And control - tell me about control! When did the loop of influence become so tiny that it contains only the two of us, Charles and I - and sometimes I wonder about how much influence I have with C? (He probably wonders too, about his sphere of influence) Well, how do you deal with the stress this causes?

When you see a situation arising and you fear the outcome, but you can do nothing about it - how do you handle the anxiety and the feeling of powerlessness??

(note: how about one of the revived World War Two
poster quotes 'Keep Calm and Carry On')

Oh, when did my prayers change from "please Lord, make everything right" to "Thy way not mine, and bestow on me the grace of acceptance and the power to cope."

Spiritually, - ah, spiritually. I was late questioning the childhood beliefs. Faith was a fierce force in my childhood home.

For a while it was a bumpy road - belief lost and found, and now I am intrigued with the 'spiritual brain' and its relation to 'the mind'. Learning all I can about how the predominance of either side of the brain affects our personality, our character, the way we view life and how we cope with it.

Now the question is how to stay focused on the diminished possibilities of a life limited by these losses of power; how to embrace a feeling of contentment.

How to live quietly within the smaller circle, appreciating each moment, relinquishing the struggle, cultivating humour. If not accepting, at least tolerating with some effort at understanding the changing mores of new generations.

How to stay centered on the important and the possible, - the cherished loves, the gratitude for all the blessings we have received, the happy companionship that has been the result of long years together....."

And here my musings ended. Something must have distracted me... but down at the bottom of the page are the encircled words 'Nano scaffolding'

Nano scaffolding, - the newly discovered science of "using polymer-based biodegrable fibres, 100 times smaller than a human hair, and re-engineering them to create a unique 3-D scaffolding that could potentially allow stem cells to repair damaged nerves in the human body more quickly and effectively."

Perhaps that was what distracted me as I think of the possibilities this might hold for the post-polio deadened nerves in Charles' feet, as well as the immense hope it holds out to spine and brain damaged individuals.

So I say to myself - stay positive, don't get fragmented, centre your life on love and kindness and optimism and gratitude, and remember the importance of living in the present.

WOW - a little philosophy for old age!!


Radka said...

Hello. You have very nice blog. Your photos are amazing. Also like to take pictures. But I am an amateur photographer. I take pictures like, just for fun and joy. Have a nice day, Radka.

Life's poetry said...

Isn't it wonderful what gems we sometimes find in our notebooks/journals when we reread them! At the time you no doubt thought - like I have, many times. That's such wise and wonderful advice. I'm going to remember that and keep it present in my mine always. And guess what? The thoughts all too often get relegated to the shelf just like my old notebooks. Thanks for your timely wisdom. Wnjoy your flowers and all your photos. :) Shirley

Hildred said...

Shirley - you are so right about these fleeting bits of wisdom, - I find as I grow older they are embedded a little deeper and I remember them longer. But sometimes when we come across things we have written aren't they a big surprise!!!

Thanks for your kind visit...

uberrhund said...

Reading your blog tomight is "just what the doctor ordered" Or exactly not that ! I am heartened by the words from your notebook(I keep them too) as this has been a week of middle aged birthday greetings and dentist and doctor appts.
Apparently one is supposed to fall apart at 50 but they all seem displeased that I have not done so.
Seems to me they are looking for something to support the curve of their date not ruin it.
Oh well, I feel fine and am ready to learn new things and loose a few pounds too!
You two are doing things right and living in the moments of each day.
Thanks for sharing!
Oh and it is finally cooling a little here in So Cal, upper 80's this week and that is good for us in late Sept.!

kanishk said...

I am an amateur photographer. I take pictures like, just for fun and joy. Have a nice day, Radka.
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