Sunday, September 27, 2009
A Note to Myself on Keeping Centered
I have a passion for notebooks, and while browsing through some of last year's pages I came across this note to myself..... (I do that often too, - another quirk)
Nov. 7, 2008
"Alas, the passage of the years eventually diminishes our powers in so many way;
Physically, we are dismayed by the things we can't do easily anymore. Squeeze the toothpaste, open jars, skip down steps - the list is never ending and worse, far worse, for those who have lost their mobility.
Mentally, how frustrating that we have forgotten things that once were filed away so neatly. What is it that makes the file drawer stick??? How sad that some memories are lost to us, - even those of us who are fortunate enough to retain pretty well all our faculties -
And control - tell me about control! When did the loop of influence become so tiny that it contains only the two of us, Charles and I - and sometimes I wonder about how much influence I have with C? (He probably wonders too, about his sphere of influence) Well, how do you deal with the stress this causes?
When you see a situation arising and you fear the outcome, but you can do nothing about it - how do you handle the anxiety and the feeling of powerlessness??
(note: how about one of the revived World War Two
poster quotes 'Keep Calm and Carry On')
Oh, when did my prayers change from "please Lord, make everything right" to "Thy way not mine, and bestow on me the grace of acceptance and the power to cope."
Spiritually, - ah, spiritually. I was late questioning the childhood beliefs. Faith was a fierce force in my childhood home.
For a while it was a bumpy road - belief lost and found, and now I am intrigued with the 'spiritual brain' and its relation to 'the mind'. Learning all I can about how the predominance of either side of the brain affects our personality, our character, the way we view life and how we cope with it.
Now the question is how to stay focused on the diminished possibilities of a life limited by these losses of power; how to embrace a feeling of contentment.
How to live quietly within the smaller circle, appreciating each moment, relinquishing the struggle, cultivating humour. If not accepting, at least tolerating with some effort at understanding the changing mores of new generations.
How to stay centered on the important and the possible, - the cherished loves, the gratitude for all the blessings we have received, the happy companionship that has been the result of long years together....."
And here my musings ended. Something must have distracted me... but down at the bottom of the page are the encircled words 'Nano scaffolding'
Nano scaffolding, - the newly discovered science of "using polymer-based biodegrable fibres, 100 times smaller than a human hair, and re-engineering them to create a unique 3-D scaffolding that could potentially allow stem cells to repair damaged nerves in the human body more quickly and effectively."
Perhaps that was what distracted me as I think of the possibilities this might hold for the post-polio deadened nerves in Charles' feet, as well as the immense hope it holds out to spine and brain damaged individuals.
So I say to myself - stay positive, don't get fragmented, centre your life on love and kindness and optimism and gratitude, and remember the importance of living in the present.
WOW - a little philosophy for old age!!